Necklace
by HashtagLEH
Summary: Why messing with Tony Stark is a bad idea - especially when it comes to Steve. (He'll just throw it right back in your face. With glee.)


**It's been done before, and we've all seen the post. I wanted to do one myself, so here you are!**

 **...**

Tony wasn't sure whether to laugh or shout angrily at the email that JARVIS had flagged as important and now showed on the holographic screen in front of him. It was unbelievable, and for all the time he'd spent making weapons for the military, he'd never heard of something like… _this_. Was it because it was him? Because it was Steve? Because they were both men?

 _Mr. Stark,_

 _It has come to our attention that you have caused damage to government property. Attached are pictures that are evidence of these claims. As this is the first time such an incident has occurred, you will be let off with a warning, and are asked to refrain from repeating these actions. Should you choose to ignore this warning, further action will be required._

"It's not even _damage_!" Tony finally exclaimed to absolutely no one.

Or apparently, not no one.

"What's not damage?" Steve's voice said behind him, and a moment later strong arms wrapped around him, lips pressing into the hair on the top of his head.

"Steve!" Tony exclaimed happily, instantly forgetting about the email as he turned around and rose to his feet, leaning up on tip-toes to capture Steve's lips with his own. Pulling away after a moment, he said with a happy grin, "I thought your mission went until tomorrow?"

"Finished up early," Steve said easily, sitting on the stool beside Tony's. Tony finally noticed that he was still in his uniform, his hair was a mess, and there was a streak of what he hoped was dirt on his cheek. "I still have to debrief and get a written report, but I can push it off for a couple more hours while they're distracted with Nat and Bucky."

"Aww," Tony cooed teasingly. "I've corrupted you!"

Steve laughed. "I think Bucky would be the first to tell you that I've been 'corrupted' since before we even met," he teased back.

Tony waved a hand dismissively, eyes twinkling. "Details."

"So what got you upset before I walked in?" Steve questioned curiously. "Something about damage?"

Tony rolled his eyes and glanced at the holographic screen. "Apparently I've 'caused damage to government property'," he said derisively, looking back at Steve.

"Why, Tony!" Steve cut him off with a dramatic gasp. "I thought those days were behind you! Did you piss on the Statue of Liberty again?"

"No!" Tony protested emphatically. "And I didn't even piss _on_ it that time – it was just on the floor _inside_ it! No," he went back to his first comment, " _Apparently_ , leaving hickies on my husband causes him 'damage', and if I don't stop, 'further action will be required'. Which doesn't even make sense, because the bruise disappears in a couple of _hours_ for you, which is totally unfair, but also not the point. How are you even considered property? You're a person."

Steve looked confused. "That can't be real," he protested. "Are you sure?"

"If it wasn't real, JARVIS wouldn't have flagged it for me to read," Tony pointed out, squinting at the screen as though his judgmental gaze could make the words disappear.

"There has been record of other military spouses receiving the same notifications," JARVIS' disembodied voice floated into the room.

"But Steve isn't military," Tony reminded the AI. "He's not even SHIELD – he's completely under the Avengers, which is run by us. So why would the military send this to us?"

"Maybe because I'm a national icon?" Steve suggested with only the barest trace of bitterness. "And if they don't tell you to stop, no one will?"

Tony snorted. "Do they really believe that I'll stop just because they told me to?"

"Not particularly," Steve said honestly with a wry smile. "Not that I want you to."

"No," Tony went on as though Steve hadn't spoken. "I take this as a _dare_!" He reached out, grabbing the sleeve of Steve's uniform and tugging them both toward the doors. "Come on, Honeybunch. We only have a couple of hours before you have your debrief – there's no time to waste!"

"What are we doing, Tony?" Steve asked long-sufferingly, though he had his own suspicions. He _did_ know his husband, after all.

"In an hour and a half, we're going to have a press conference," Tony replied as they stepped into the elevator. "And we're going to smack them all silly with this, because even though they don't have jurisdiction over us, it's not okay for anyone _truly_ in the military to have to abide by these ridiculous rules. 'Property' – _honestly_."

"And in the hour and a half before then?" Steve said with a smirk.

Tony smirked right back, looping his arms around Steve's neck. "Well, we have to throw it back in the government's face, don't we?" he said with false innocence. "At that conference, there is going to be a veritable _necklace_ of hickies around your neck, and the press will immortalize the moment _forever_."

"Don't mess with Tony Stark, right?" Steve murmured, tugging Tony in closer by the waist as the doors opened on their floor.

"Damn straight," Tony breathed, pupils widening with lust. And then his lips attacked.

 **...**

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